2806 Reynolda Road, # 211
Winston-Salem, NC 27106
(336) 499-1977
colleen@byersmediation.com
Do you know you need to have a difficult conversation and it fills you with dread?
Would you like to have a high stakes conversation but aren’t sure how?
Do you want to influence an outcome but every time you try to talk with the other person, you leave feeling frustrated, unheard, misunderstood, and seething with anger?
Here are 3 tips to communicate for greater influence and impact, whether that is with your partner, your boss, or your team.
1. Know Your Goal
Before you engage in any important conversation, first take some time to think carefully about what you hope to accomplish by the end of the conversation. If you do not know where you want to go, then you will never be able to chart a course to get there. So ask yourself:
If I had a magic wand, what would the ideal outcome of the conversation be?
What am I really trying to accomplish with this conversation?
What do I want the other person to start, stop, or change?
Once you know exactly where the goal line is, then you can utilize the other tips to prepare a strategy to get you there.
2. What’s In It for Them?
Too often, when we are trying to influence or persuade, we suffer from myopathy. We only look at the issue from our own perspective. In order to increase your effectiveness, you need to flip the script and consider the issue from the perspective of the other person. Standing in their shoes, ask yourself:
Why should they agree with me?
What motivates them?
What is important to them?
How could this benefit them?
Then include the most compelling reasons why they should agree with you in your conversation. Do not assume that they will think of the ways in which something might actually benefit them. Explicitly connect the dots for them.
3. Rehearse
Practice what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. You can do this with a coach or trusted friend. You can talk to yourself in the mirror. You can record yourself on Zoom and watch it back. After each practice session, ask yourself:
What went well?
What do I want to change?
Then practice some more. Practice until it flows out of your mouth with ease and there is nothing you would like to change.
Implementing any one of these 3 tips will instantly increase your influence, improve your outcomes, and perhaps even enhance your relationships.
If you are ready to gain clarity and confidence in order to maximize your influence before your next important conversation, I’d love to support you. Book a consultation with me.